The Saga Continues...

I was being catty (or rabbity?) with that last post - but I am really starting to get a little bit nervous... Last weekend we had the Jaded Lover "fuck you you're an asshole" routine because I wasn't paying enough attention to her and went and hung out with friends on Sunday - which evolved into the Horny Stalker blowing up my text messages with the likes of "can we just fuck" or "let watch movies tonight and snuggle" (Uh... No!) and so on for the greater part of the week... So I have just avoided the situation as much as I can - stayed in my room with all the lights off, slept, hid, whatever... Fortunately there is a lock on my door - and a window!

Then today I log on to my profile on GDC and she has a fucking profile - and has been on my page... What the fuck is that???


It's a site for GAY MEN... Why??? There is absolutely NO logical reason for her to even be ON the site other than to follow me around and do heaven only knows what. I wonder how many other online places of mine she has saved and sits there ogling. It's fucking freaky as all shit.

It's like I am being stalked. I really don't want to have to change ALL my shit again - I just did that not long ago because of someone else pulling this online stalking shit - hence the new blogs, new screen names, et cetera - but NOW I am living with the damned person. It's more than just a little bit disconcerting.

I wonder what pair of crazy pants she is going to be wearing next... I really don't know what to do. I am so fucking stressed out over this and so uncomfortable I just want to cry. I feel like a prisoner in my own fucking world...

And I am supposed to be the whacky one...

Pray, chant, dance, do whatever Voodoo you do to help me find a job so I can get myself out of this situation.

It's just seems to go from bad to worse...

And this is about as bad as I can handle.

It's starting to get downright scary.

p.s. And no, I have not broached the subject with her because I don't want to (a) encourage her or (b) make matters worse than they already are.

If I go Missing in Action...

Lift the lid...



Seriously...



She has gone bat shit on a street rat crazy...



This shit lately has made ME look sane.

Dark Mourning of the Soul

dark mourning of the soul
for times lost
she never had
reaching out
scrambling through the shadows
wrapping them around her
like an old familiar
shying from the light
and its hateful glare
exposing truths
she already knows
her remorse
for things ungained
pockets emptied
and embers long since doused
remains her constant
her lover
her friend
and the sole consistency
of her mourning

© 2009, Micael Chadwick

Lovely Wallpaper...

Matches the nipples so nicely...


I would really love to be a fly on the wall at some of these photoshooots... I mean can you imagine the conversations?

"Let's take off all his clothes (except that stupid tie) and put him in front of this CRAP wallpaper!!!"

"Gurrrrrlll, that's fierce..."

[pause while Rabbit vomits on his own paw]

Ugh. Though I will admit that if I had a body like that (and didn't have to work for it), I would probably carry around tacky ass wallpaper samples just to pose in front of...

It's all about perspective. (Or fuckitiveness at its best.)

It Sucks.

"Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you bad
But I did it anyway
And now maybe
Some would say your life was sad
But you lived it anyway
And now maybe
Your friends they stand beside they watch you crumble
As you falter to the ground
And now maybe
Your friends they stand beside as you were flying
Oh you were flying oh so high
But then some day people look at you for what they call their own
They watch you suffer
Yeah they hear you calling home
But then some day we could take our time
To brush the leaves aside so you can reach us
But you left me far behind"

- Candlebox, Far Behind

Some days, it really doesn't pay to chew through the straps.I often understand why someone such as Christoper McCandless just said "Fuck it..." and walked away from it all to go live hell and gone from nowhere away from everyone... If I had the balls - or more fuckitiveness - I would just bail. I get so tired of the struggle - of busting my ass - for nothing...

It's a bad day at the beauty salon... And you stink like a sneaker, pal.

Just Because...