Dilemma

Okay my loyal Rabbiteers, feed me back on this one.  At what point do you just say fuck it?  I have been racking my brain trying to figure out something to do for a friend of mine for Valentine's Day...  My problem is not what to do (though I have not yet figured that out yet, either) but really more of a 'why bother' type issue.  Most times when I try to do something for this person, I get little to nothing from them, or a snide remark.  So, well...  Do I even make the effort or is it just a 'why bother'?  I am one of those that squees with unadulterated joy at something as simple as a box of crayons.  Woo hoo!!!  Now, mind you, I do not expect that, in the least, but a dick's drip of graciousness might not be that bad.  

It just makes me not want to even try.  I do what I can - usually in trade with others for graphics or hair-dids or the like because I haven't a real income and am more broke than an unfunny joke.  So I am limited and what little I usually CAN do takes some effort and finagling.  The last thing I managed (to do) was met with "well that's great but it doesn't pay the rent."  Well, fuck you too then.  Give it back then.  I really don't know what to do.  A part of me wants to do something - but then a part of me doesn't want to get my feelings hurt again.  Even knowing what to expect and steeling myself for it, I still get my feelings hurt.  It's just how I am.  I expect everyone else to be like me knowing full well 99% of them are unmitigated pus oozing asshole monkeys.

So, my conundrum is - do I even try?  Or do I just let them sit there sad and ignored because you know aint no one else is going to do any damned thing for them either for the holiday?  Maybe I should just do something for myself instead...  No hurt feelings there...

What would you do?  What should I do?  Ugh.  I really hate people sometimes.  So ugly.

If "chivalry is dead," it's your own damned fault.

Dear Exacerbated Asshole,

I was raised to be a door holder, chair puller outer, car door opener, flat tire changer...  I am a yes ma'am please and thank you-er...  But in recent years, such actions are met with nothing but disdain and hostility and contempt and just down right fucking hatefulness.

So you know what?  Open your own fucking doors.  I hope the chair slides out from under you and you fall on your fat puckered ass in the middle of the crowded restaurant.  Change your own tire - and break a fucking nail - in the rain on the side of the interstate - during rush hour.  It's all yours.  And get the fuck out of my way while you're at it.  I was here first.

I'm done.

People bitch about getting no respect - get it - and then bitch about that, too.  Well, fuck you Suzy Homaker.  You can do it your gawd damned self.

Sorry 'bout your angry twat and your skewed perception of what is intended to be polite - and GASP! - chivalrous.

Hope you win.

- Rabbit

Friday Follow and the Fart Smell

I think I missed the point of the whole Friday Follow thing here on Blogger.  I thought it would be a great resource to perhaps find other bloggers of like mind and interest.  I did not, however, realize it is nothing more than a gathering and nesting of followers for the sake of having followers without regard to content or context.  Kinda like the Attack of the Spam Bots on Twitter.

I have deleted more comments that have nothing to do with anything related to my posts in the last 48 hours than I have in my entire history of blogging.  I don't know what the fuck "Hi. I like the colour salmon and the smell of toe.  I am a Friday Follower."  has in tangerine tranny hell to do with a post on rabid unicorns buttfucking leprechans in the forrest whilst singing "I Henry the 8th I am on my 99th Bottle of Beer on the Wall."  UGH.

It's kinda like when you're too lazy to change your brat's diaper and the Pamper gets droopy and little poops fall out leaving a Hansel and Gretel trail of shit down the hall so you just pick them up, stuff them back in, duct tape the diaper to the baby and proudly proclaim, "Yep! That's my kid!"  I aint your kid, dude.  Chill the fuck out.

Yeah, it's kinda like that, I think.

Smells that bad, too.

Won't be doing THAT again.  I don't need the pamper-ing.

Product Warning: The Fires of HELL - In Yo' Face

Unless you are a masochist and enjoy interminable torture, stay the hell away from Walmart's "Equate Extra Moisturizing Nasal Spray."  Trust.  The ONLY reason the shit is moisturizing is because you WILL be sitting there with the water hose firmly lodged in your nose to put out the lake of fire that has since left the bowels of Hell and taking up lodging  

IN YOUR FACE!!!

I have been arguing with a sinus infection for months now.  And it's winning.  I don't know where this stuff came from - it was in the medicine cabinet - I think I recall Kiki bringing it home here a while back.  I thought, however, it was one of those SALINE things.  You know Salt.  Not liquid fucking fire in a plastic bottle.

There's eyeliner on my knee and blood on my elbow. I am funky. (And no, my name is not Prince...)

It seems like the proverbial, universal funk has taken over the planet lately.  Is there another damned retrograde going on?  It's workin' my tits if it is and it needs to get its ass spinning back the right way before I climb up onto the roof of this crack hotel and start flingin' dingleberries at all the junkies and hookers.

I don't know what pterodactyl has crawled up my twat lately, but I am just not havin' it.  "It" being ANYTHING.  At. All.  I have 117 and half blogs bumbling about in my head but don't feel like writing any of them.  The one on Christmas day alone is a doozy.  I read all of y'all's posts, but haven't the gumption to comment (sorry).  I barely want to cook - much less eat.  I don't want to talk to anyone.  Have had my web messenger hooey thing set to invisible and I just sit there snarling at it as people come and go - hoping to hell they don't decide to message me even though they can't see me.  T.V. annoys me (not that that's a big stretch).  Hell breathing lately annoys me - mine or that of anyone else.  I am one funky, cranky bitch.

Lawd Have Mercy! Get my handbasket ready!!!

We's all goin' to hell!

Homo?  ✔  - I ♥ that we made the top of the list!  (Wife Beater?  Is that the shirt?  Or the Chris Brown?)  New Ager?  ✔  Environmentalist?  ✔  (PKs?  Really?  Why?)  Effeminate Man?  ✔  - Grab that pussy and twirl, girl!!!  (Emos?  Again, really?  Annoying sure?  But condemned to eternal damnation???  Poor things.  Aren't they emotional enough as it is?)  Pervert?  ✔ - A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste, damn it!  Pagan?  ✔  Loud Mouth Woman?  Sometimes ✔ - Where's my wig???  High Fullutent?  WTF?  Were they high when they tried to spell falutin'?  Sophisticated Swine?  ✔  Le Oink, mother fucker!  Sports Nut?  ✔  Geaux Saints!!!  (Though I do love that it's actually spelled as Sport's Nuts.  I guess the whole damned locker room is fucked.  Jockstraps be warned!!!)

And why is everything possessive, rather than plural?

Better start makin' your own list and checkin' it twice.

This handbasket of mine is gonna fill up pretty damned quick!

It's not Gay. Stop the Hate.

Few things really get under my skin and chap my ass.  (Yeah, right...)  I figure everyone has the right to say whatever it is they haven't the good sense to say.  However, shitty, bigoted, jackhole comments like this do:

"...because we all know that it is cowardly and gay." 

I stopped following a blog tonight because of it.  Right then and there.  I didn't even finish reading the post.  It irked me that much; that immediately.  I am snarky.  Given.  I have a foul mouth.  Another given, but I try my damnedest not to attack and degrade any given group of people.  This one I take personally because, well, I AM gay.  It is not a negative.  It is NOT an insult.  (Most) people would not dare utter "that is so nigger."  Well, no one with any couth or breeding anyway.  It just shows ignorance and blatant disregard for a group of people that are merely fighting for the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness that every heterosexual - breeder - takes for granted.   And it pisses me the hell off.

Can you not come up with anything better to insult people with???  I'll fight it on every level.  Even my own family says it and I have butted heads with them on the subject, too.  It's cruel.  It's unnecessary.  It's downright offensive.  And all it does is propagate the hate.

It's so big, fat unintelligent Okie... (Yeah.  I went there.)

Totally Speechless...

Yes.  You heard it correctly.  I.  Am. Speechless.  I don't even know what to say about this one...  Parenting is a whole new world these days...  Your thoughts???

McDonalds Doesn't Hire F*ggots

I know it goes on but I am always gobsmacked when I hear about it.  My little Rabbitland bubble doesn't make room for such blantant, hateful discrimination, so it always just catches me off guard.  This one really takes the cake... The Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF) is filing a complaint (lawsuit) today (December 7th, 2009) with the Florida Commission on Human Relations. It's due to an Orlando McDonalds' restaurant refusing to hire 17-year-old Zikerria Bellamy -- specifically because she is transgender. And, in the process of discriminating against her, she received a voicemail message from one of the McDonalds' managers, complete with an antigay pejorative:

"You went to (indistinguishable) McDonalds today. It doesn't matter how many times you go down there: You will not get hired. We do not hire faggots."

Maybe McDonalds corporate will again try to remind us that they are an lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) friendly organization, but individual restaurants seem to have a history of discriminating against LGBT people. Remember Kentucky's "faggot" story? Remember New York's Christina Sforza story? I do.

Let's hope at least that McDonalds' corporate folk jump in and fix this latest outbreak antitrans sentiment by one of their managers at their restaurants in the next two or three days. Maybe requiring new, lengthier, mandatory training for crewmembers and managers - even at their franchised restaurants - on their LGBT nondiscrimination policies?

[Source]

Even I don't know what to say on this one....

Thanks to my friend R. for this lovely gem of Holiday cheer...

Truly a WTF were they thinking moment.

A Sign of the Times?

The New Oxford American Dictionary has picked its Word of 2009. The choice goes to show you the ubiquity of Facebook (and MySpace): the word is "unfriend."

Oxford University Press made the announcement on Monday, saying that it's Word of the Year (or WOTY) time around the office. The definition is:

unfriend – verb – To remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site such as Facebook.

As in, “I decided to unfriend my roommate on Facebook after we had a fight.”

Other candidate words (I guess you could call them runners-up) were:

Technology

hashtag – a # [hash] sign added to a word or phrase that enables Twitter users to search for tweets (postings on the Twitter site) that contain similarly tagged items and view thematic sets

intexticated – distracted because texting on a cellphone while driving a vehicle

netbook – a small, very portable laptop computer with limited memory

paywall – a way of blocking access to a part of a website which is only available to paying subscribers

sexting – the sending of sexually explicit texts and pictures by cellphone

Economy

freemium – a business model in which some basic services are provided for free, with the aim of enticing users to pay for additional, premium features or content

funemployed – taking advantage of one’s newly unemployed status to have fun or pursue other interests

zombie bank – a financial institution whose liabilities are greater than its assets, but which continues to operate because of government support

Politics and Current Affairs

Ardi – (Ardipithecus ramidus) oldest known hominid, discovered in Ethiopia during the 1990s and announced to the public in 2009

birther – a conspiracy theorist who challenges President Obama’s birth certificate

choice mom – a person who chooses to be a single mother

death panel – a theoretical body that determines which patients deserve to live, when care is rationed

teabagger -a person, who protests President Obama’s tax policies and stimulus package, often through local demonstrations known as “Tea Party” protests (in allusion to the Boston Tea Party of 1773)

Environment

brown state – a US state that does not have strict environmental regulations

green state – a US state that has strict environmental regulations

ecotown - a town built and run on eco-friendly principles

Novelty Words

deleb – a dead celebrity

tramp stamp – a tattoo on the lower back, usually on a woman

It's all rather telling, don't you think? Though I am pretty sure Teabagging and Politics should never be married.  Look THAT up in your Funk & Wagnalls!

[Source]

FUCKED from the get-go...

At what point do you realize you are fighting a losing battle...  I think I just got kicked in the balls with the realization that I am TOTALLY full of shit in believing that this is ever going to get better.  Let's be honest, bunnies, this shit aint going to change.  You can't change a horse's colour.

Pictures framing up the past
Your taunting smirk behind the glass
This museum full of ash
Once a tickle, now a rash


This used to be a Funhouse
But now it's full of evil clowns
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down

 I feel so defeated.  I feel so lost.  What exactly have I been believing in and fighting for?  Really?  And why?  And what kicks even harder in the nads of the Rabbit is I have nothing; I have no one.  I don't have Mommie like my brother.  I don't have Daddy like my sister.  I have no one to help me out.  I have a house full of shit and no where to go.

I just got barraged tonight with the antics of an evil clown.  I can't even tell you what crawled up her ass this fucking time, but undoubtedly I am to blame for it.  Yet again.  UGH.  So much annoyed with being the Anti-Christ.  And knowing nothing about it or what is going on.  Over it.  I can't do anything right - no matter how much blood I wipe off the floor - no matter how much shit I wipe off the toilet seat - no matter how many floors I vacuuum or dinners I cook.  Not enough.  Never.  Ever.

Echoes knocking on locked doors
All the laughter from before
I'd rather live out on the street
Than in this haunted memory


I've called the movers, called the maids
We'll try to exorcise this place
Drag my mattress to the yard
Crumble, tumble house of cards

What do I do, y'all???

I'm crawling through the doggy door
My key don't fit my life no more
I'll change the drapes, I'll break the plates
I'll find a new place, burn this fucker down

CAN I even win?

How not to write a recipe...

This was a submission I received a while back while compiling ideas for my recipe book.  I wonder if anyone told him it's not wise to smoke your shoes...  [Bracketed text is my responses.]

Apple Cookies

1 pkg of refrigerated sugar cookie dough (20 oz)
1 granny smith apple

Preheat oven to 350* Put sugar cookie dough in freezer for 1 hour. Remove wrapping from the dough. 

[Thanks! I would have never thought to remove the package. So often I love to chew on plastic!!!]

Cut into 22 thing slices.  

[I'm not sure what a thing slice is, but I'll give it a whirl!]

Arrange the slices in a circle  

[Why ??? Because it's pretty?]

about 1/2" from the edge of your pan (or baking stone if you have one). Slices should touch each other.  

[Because everyone needs to be touched.]

Make another row of slices inside the first leaving the center open. Peel, core and slice the apple and then cute the rings in half.  

[Yes!!! Because we can't have ugly rings! Damn it! Cute those fuckers! Now!]

Arrange slices in two circles on dough pressing the ends in slightly. Combine ingredients for topping and sprinkle over the dough.  

[Topping? Did I miss the topping? Where the fuck's my topping? My unwrapped cute rings are nekkid!!!]

Bake for 25 minutes or until lightly browned.  

[Don't want pasty cookies.]

Immediately loosen from the pan and allow to cool for 10 minutes before serving.

Hi, I'm an Asshole (apparently)...

I have learned today - well, over the course of the last couple of weeks, actually - that I could never be a Teacher or Instructor in any way, shape, or form.

I have the patience of a rock and am wound tighter than a hummingbird's asshole.  I don't think short-fused and high-strung even begin to cover it.

I am great at doing it myself and handing it over to someone once it is done - as long as someone does not jack with, alter, or fuck up my hard work after said passing of the baton.

That is when my cute, little, rabbity ears shrink back into my head to be replaced with the horns of a snot-slinging fire-breathing demon.

What I am also NOT good at is explaining it - especially in Lehman's Terms.

I get frustrated.  I get hysterical.  Then my chest hurts. The tension in my shoulder tightens and pulls them up to my ears.  I grind my teeth.  I break another tooth.  It's not cute.

How's that for a visual?  A toothless, wheezing hunchbacked bunny with devil horns...

It's about par.

[Image Source:  Disapproving Rabbits]