Friday, November 27, 2009

WTF (Black) Friday

One of my favourite bloggers, and dearest people I have met in a long time, Menopausal New Mom, has started a new tradition called

"WTF Friday."

She's out this week with the holidays and all, so I am carrying the torch this week - and passing it along to any of you that would like to participate.

From her blog:
WTF Friday

Might be one long bitch session or rant, could be a break down of several annoyances that have accumulated all week or an injustice or rip off.  Like the idea?  Then join in and let the bitching begin!

WTF is wrong with people that they lose their ever-loving minds - completely and totally - for one day each year just so they can get shit they don't need for people that don't want it for a little less coin?  Really?  Does Aunt Mabel really need the Enema Bag Jewelry enough for you to mow down Grandma Jolly just trying to get her pain meds for her hip-replacement, her ol' school TV Guide, and 97 cans of catfood for her tribe of anorexic and feral pussies?  Chill the hell out people.

I am not a big fan of shopping on a good day.  Not by any means.  Crowds and noise make me nervous, and people - as a general rule - smell funny.  No thanks.  Here in Texas it's even worse.  There should be a sign at state line that says "Welcome to Hell.  Evolution stops here."  There are more snot nosed, pimple faced, scary ass, inbred, mullet-rockin' rednecks in clothes that don't fit, aint never fit, and should not be worn even in private - much less in public - slothing their way through the halls of Wal-Mart like a Punched-in-the-Face Igor on crack.  Add to this the mayhem and madness that Black Friday induces and it's makes the Seventh Rung of Hell look like Disneyland.  Don't even think of wrasslin' Hateful Head Helen for that box of 93-for-a-Dollar Ho-Hos. Bitch will take your ass down - and never stop chewing while she does it.  Such a showing sign of the gimme-gimme society we now live in.  Fuck dude, you can have it.  Knock yourself out.  I will be the one backing slowly away from the end-cap of discounted Lard and the pallet of B1G1 exploding tampon strings and not making any sudden moves so as not to lose any of my appendages in the fray.  (Actually, this bunny will be riding out the storm under the sofa cushions with the Cheetos and change and saying the hell with it all...)

I guess it's the appropriate follow up to National Steal-Your-Land, Rape-Your-Women, and Kill-You-All-If-You-Disagree Day.  Death by Wal-Mart.


GOOD NEWS UPDATE via Gawker: Good job, shoppers: You didn't trample anyone to death this year. Things are looking positively lackadaisical out there. The Times even quotes a shopper as saying, "Everybody has been really pleasant." But what are we going to write about!?

So, does this mean people have come to their senses? Or are we all just that flat-ass broke?