Thursday, February 5, 2009

Fried, Dyed & Laid to the Side

Fuck the dumb shit. I am going back blonde. This getting old(er) shit is for the birds.

When I was young I had really cool naturally red hair... Now I don't know if it's due to years of abuse (I used to change my hair colour weekly when I still worked at a Salon) or just this natural fucking progression we call aging - but it's now this God awful, dark, dookie brown and I hate it.

It looks like someone crapped on my hair!!! (Gives whole new meaning to the term Shithead...)

Damn it.

I was digging around in the avalanchic closet o' product and I found some red dye, but it never sticks to the grey so I go mad and chunked it in the trash. Upon further digging (and prayers for a search party if the closet rebelled) I find a big ass bucket o' bleach. Woo hoo. So my plans for the afternoon are to fry my scalp beyond recognition and bleach my hair into the most unnatural shade of white I can get it. Easier than jacking with the red and white hides grey much, much better.

I figure if Billy Idol can still pull it off after all this time, why the hell can't I? I am at least a decade or two younger... Plus I think I have the sneer down pat at this point.

Three cheers for vanity and the refusal to grow old gracefully. I am going down kicking and screaming... And sneering.

UPDATE: My hair is now white. Not blonde. Not towhead. WHITE. And my scalp hurts like a mother fucker. But hey, it's always better to look good than to feel good.