Monday, February 2, 2009

Shit Yourself Thin!

We live in one fucked up society.

Actual warning label from the Alli diet product:

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."

And just beneath that: "You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take Alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens."

What the fuck??? Pardon the pun, but you've got to be shitting me. Bring an extra Mumu to work so when your anal leakage floods your draw's, you have something to change into???

Give me a fucking break. How about stepping away from the entire box of Ho-Hos, unassing the couch, turning the fucking TV off, and doing something (mobile) and productive with your giant Jabba the Hutt looking ass.

Lazy fuck.

You deserve to shit yourself.

And I deserve to laugh at your clotted, poo-covered self when you do.