Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Come to my Window

Tracie over at Stir-Fry Awesomeness has given me a great idea for a new (series of) post(s) with her latest today.  I have lived in some places - lemme tell you.  From the last stop on the 6 in the Bronx, to a closet sized flat in The Village...  From the Faubourg Marigny (just this side of the 9th Ward) in New Orleans to the ghettos of Stockton, California.  Crack hotels. Laundry Mats.  All the way to Speegleville, Texas. (Yee haw!)  And back...  The list goes on...

Gurrls (and that one dude over there with his hand down his pants - yeah, I know I'm cute, but stop that -  it's creepy) I have seen some SHIT.  Literally.  Most recently at my last apartment complex I went outside to water my plants and there was a very naked crackbaby squatted down taking a dump on the sidewalk.  Typical of me, my immediate and unthought out response was:

"Oh HELL no.  You better pick that shit up and go take it to yo' mama." 




Another favourite was the time I heard a big mess of ruckus outside the door and peeked out all Gladys Kravitzy to see two big ol' ghetto gurls goin' at it by the trash can.  One looked straight up out the Amazon - the other a much shorter and much, much rounder version with a big ol' fall o' fake hurh - not even the good fake shit either - the fake shit you get at the supa'markit out the bargain bin.  Amazoniqua then proceeded to gank Rotunda's weave up offa her head and starts to whoop her ass with her own yaki.  Rotunda - trying to defend herself grabs the trashcan lid and is now using it as a shield like the Spartan 300 (or maybe that was just how much she weighed) and Amazoniqua is STILL spankin' the hell out of her OVER the top of the shield.  It was a mother fuckin' riot and a half.

You can't begin to imagine the shit I have seen.  Sometimes I have wondered if I really did fall through The Looking Glass and ended up in What-the-Fuck-Land.  

Stay tuned.  There's much, much more to come.