Saturday, March 27, 2010

Trivial Trivia for the Twisted

This week went down on a donkey like a Mexican whore workin' for Pesos, so I don't feel like doing my "This Week..." this week.  Instead you get a plethora of useless information.  (Stolen from Gina stolen from Vencora.)

1. Never in my life have I been: an Oompa Loompa, professionally.

2. The one person who can drive me nuts is: damn near everyone.

3. High school:  In school, I was usually high.

4. When I’m nervous: I laugh inappropriately.

5. The last song I listened to was: "You Belong to Me" by Taylor Swift.

6. If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor:  would be looking at me like I had lost my God damned mind.  But at least my gown is cute.

7. My hair is: a freak of nature.

8. When I was 5: I was a boy.

9. Last Christmas: I gave you my heart.  But the very next day, you gave it away.

10. I should be..:  Shouldn't we all?

11. When I look down I see: all that lies below me.

12. The happiest recent event was: winning a new fountain pen and a squirt load of ink for it.

13. If I were a character on 'Friends' I would be:
in jail for stabbing Ross and Rachel in the face with a butter knife.

14. By this time next year:
I will have ceased to exist as everyone now knows me.

15. My current gripe is: dumbfuckery - in general.

16. I have a hard time understanding: 90% of Americans people who don't speak English.

17. There’s this girl I know that: smells like a dude.  A big dude.  That doesn't wash his balls.

18. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: the crazy man on the bus.

19. Take my advice:
Wear sunscreen.

20. The thing I want to buy:
isn't for sale. 

21. If you visited the place I was born: you might be ill.

22. I plan to visit:
the other side of the Looking Glass.

23. If you spent the night at my house:
I would know you'd lost your damned mind.

24. I’d stop my wedding if:
I was getting married.

25. The world could do without:
giant bubbles of poo in Indiana.

26. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: change a diaper.  Just sit in it, kid.

27. Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: glasses that make me look like Buddy Holly buttfucked an owl and barfed up a male version of Trelawny.

28. Most recent thing someone else bought me: chocolate.

29. My favorite blonde is: myself.  Like... OMG.  Duh.

30. My favorite brunette is: now blonde.

31. My favorite red head is: learning to dance again.

32. My middle name is: between my first name and last name.

33. In the morning I: could be considered homicidal.

34. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: people.  Fly away.

35. Once, at a bar: - and then twice.  And probably a third time.

36. Last night I was: drew a cartoon of my friend Penny Lane rockin' out on the guitar.

37. There’s this guy I know who: smells better than this girl I know.  He washes his nuts.

38. If I was an animal I’d be: a little less human.

39. A better name for me would be: Whutdefuk.

40. Tomorrow I am:
one day closer to home.

41. Tonight I am: not going to kick any old women or steal their walkers.

42. My birthday is: annual.