Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Stuck between a Rock... And a Rock.

I've been very conscious lately of the energies in my life - good, bad, or indifferent.  The idea that what you surround yourself with becomes your surrounding force.  Problem being there is a lot of negative surrounding me, and I just really am not enough of an asshole to tell them to bugger off (yet).  I've got this "buddy" - and in the course of less than a year he has managed to have major catastrophes with danged near everyone in his life.  Not just little tiffs, but not speaking to one another-slash-'you're dead to me' all out wars.  I've been caught in the crossfire for much of this.  I always seem to be the one that they all run to to bitch and moan.  Which is fine, I guess.  I am a good listener and would much rather be the peace keeper if I can at all help it.  I hate all that bickering and acting a damn fool.  Makes me a nervous wreck.

But, the problem now is, it's my turn to be The Antichrist.  I am the one now suffering the ire.  I've been deleted.  I have been unfollowed.  I have been ignored.  And I feel like the jerk when I've not really done anything deserving of all this.

In stepping back and attempting to look at the whole situation objectively - should I feel poorly?  If this person is constantly having problems with EVERYONE in their life...  Is constantly at war with someone...  Is constantly imbibed in some buulshittery and self-induced drama...  There is always cauldron chock-full of shit being stirred...  There is always someone upset...

Why do I care?

I know if I just let it run its course the wrath will shift and someone else will be in the doghouse...

But is it really worth it?

At what point do you wash your hands clean of it all and just walk away???

Or do you?

Or do you keep on keepin' on because, ultimately, you know it's worth it?